boissuq replay: The Dating Game
I am one to say that I do not date…
I meet a guy, we become friends, and then maybe we can see what develops from there…
Well, this approach has not worked too well for me these past couple of years.
I am not the type of chick to seek out a man…I just go about my day to day life…if I meet someone new, great, but I am not going to be the one to pursue anything beyond friendship.
I have stated this before, if I am interested in a man (that I see a possibility of pursuing something with), he will know…but if he stands around waiting on me to initiate anything…then, we both will just be standing around waiting…nothing materializing, no forward progression…
I believe that there are plenty of good men out there, but there seems to be a recent trend that causes me reason to be concerned…I am hearing men say that they wait for a woman to approach them…they expect us to be the ones to take the first step. When did this happen? Where did the old fashion premise of a man courting a woman go?
Men…take note…a woman wants you to take the first step, we want to be courted…we want you to work for us! Now, I am not talking about playing chase…if a woman is acting hard to get, then get to getting…yet it seems many of you are missing out on something great because you are protecting your egos…wanting to make sure that she is just as into you, or maybe even more into you before you are willing to take action.
So, I ask, why should we be the first to put our feelings on the line? Especially if you have not giving us reason to?
It seems that we (both men and women) act too much on assumptions instead of seeking facts.
With this approach, it is no wonder we look up to find ourselves with the wrong one!
So ladies, I am curious to know…are you willing to take the first step? And if yes, do you typically find yourself initiating dating?
Gentlemen tell me…do you prefer to be the initiator? Or do you prefer to sit back, chill, and let her come to you?
For those in relationships, who stepped to whom first?
I need your help in determining the rules to this game we call “dating.”
© 2010, kelic. All rights reserved. This work is the property of the author as named above, and www.boissuq.com. No part of this work may be reproduced or redistributed, without the express, written consent of the owners as aforementioned.
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I’m not gonna lie; I am always afraid to take the first step. I’m a very shy person [well, shy when it comes to beautiful women anyway ], and that coupled with the fact that I am a sensitive guy means I have to pretty much be 110% sure this girl is interested in at least being friends. The problem with that is that I tend to become such good friends with her that I no longer am a candidate for a relationship [girls, y'all know that speech you give to guys who are friends ]. This year alone its happened three or four times. So yeah, at this point, I wouldn’t mind the girl chasing me for a change; that way, I’m sure of what she wants instead of getting loads of mixed signals . . .
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I can initiate. I can sit back and chill. It all depends on how the situation goes from there.
I am not shy. I feel if you are interested, you shouldn’t need me to make eye contact to give you the go-ahead to come talk to me. I feel a man if he wants something he’ll do what he needs to get what he wants. Why does he play all shy when it comes to meeting someone but IS THE MAN while he is in the relationship.
Makes me wonder all the time…
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I gotta say I do feel it goes both ways. I feel like too many women sit around being passive, then get upset because the man doesnt make the “first move.” Sometimes (most times) a man doesnt know there’s a move waiting to be made. Men dont read signs, women just mistakenly think we do. In essence, I feel like women use “courtship” as an excuse to sit around being scary. Just my two cents.
I’ve also submitted a blog on this very topic to SingleBlackMale.org. lol I’ll keep ya posted @boissuq.
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