boissuq replay: you invented what?
a video still from "i invented sex"
as amusing (yes amusing) as trey songz new video for “i invented sex,” is, i am left wondering what is he really thinking as he makes that claim that he will love you so good, that you will think he invented sex. the song then asks, “who’s coming home with me?”
really? is that all?
what about being so good to you that you will think he invented commitment? love? intimacy?
sounds corny; however, trey’s song really does put the spotlight on a problem that seems to grow bigger by the day…no pun intended.
what is it with men basing their self-worth on how well they or how often they commit the act of sex? right now, some man is probably reading this thinking that i am “hating” , but not at all. i am hoping that through this article perhaps a few men will re-consider the value of a notch on your bedpost. after all, what have you really done? of course, you have been a source of pleasure for another person for perhaps fifteen minutes to an hour , and then what? what else do you have to show for all of your spectacular toe-curling love making skills. beyond the fifteen minutes to an hour of sexual activity what happens? did you find a soul mate, will you be building a relationship that blooms into something special?
for most the answer is no, because the definition of supreme manhood is based on the ability to make love with clothes off…not with clothes on.
and how exactly does one make love with their clothes on? so glad that you asked…
it reminds me of a line from the movie,”sprung,” when rusty cundieff’s character tells a very young tisha campbell (no martin) that he can make love for days…how he does that is by smiling at the thought of her, holding her, and in general spending time with her getting to know who she is.
now, are you trying to get to know everyone…most men would say no. sometimes, just being honest, all they want is sex, and that is okay–if that is what you are into. however, to make that the sole goal of your existence as a man, is not only futile but also–and i apologize in advance for the tactlessness of this next word–STUPID.
just as most women are more than a sex object, you are more than that as well–just in case no one ever told you, then let me be the first. a man should never define his manhood by his horizontal abilities–as great as they may be, but it is his vertical characteristics–his integrity, honesty, sincerity, ambition, and i could go on…but i think you get the idea, that is what truly defines a man.
i am sure that its great that you are talented in the bedroom, but there only 24 hours in a day. realistically we may only spend an hour in there, so perhaps its time to become great in the other “rooms” as well.
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I heart Trey…and as sexi as I thought he was…I was not sure what I felt about the video…
seemed to be a little bit uncalled for…thought about how I felt if my nieces stumbled across it on youtube, considering he does also have a BET version of the video.
His stated he got the idea for the video from the banned calvin klein ad with the guy in the bed with the two women…he feels its more sexual than sensual…the art was loss on the lyrics to me…not a fan of this song at all…there is nothing sexi about this track…
But Trey, you’re still my boo…and everyone elses apparently…because I can’t tell you how many women my age (and much older) seem to have crushes on this young man…maybe we’ve inflated his ego.
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And you make a great point…
Moral of the story guys…you worth is not in your d*!
And a man does not feel the need to f* every girl in the world, producing lil’ stair step bastard children across the globe…shouts to Lil Wayne.
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Well spoken. Evolution has put us in the place of immediate gratification. The social scene has taken the idea of being patience into a mere competition between over aggressive men, over aggressive women. Maybe cause we’re so caught up in the world of materialism and how we look or who has more, or who has the biggest and the next best thing– we have forgotten how to the best part of developing a relationship with someone and having true intimacy (mind body and spirit).
If all a man says he wants is sex, there are some deeper issues with that statement. Self esteem issues. Stray far from anyone that comes with that line. The problem with that is s/he wants more, but s/he has not taken the time to know his/her own heart and mind to guide them to their own self worth.
Qualifying yourself by how great you are in bed is a worthless statement– literally. So sex will just do in the end, basic instinct, instant gratification and it the only thing within context that will satisfy a need that you are unwilling to touch beyond the surface level.
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We haven’t even TOUCHED the fact that the end of the song says “Who’s going home with me? Tell me who’s going home with me? Is it you….? Is it you…? Is it you….?” As if women are supposed to herd themselves into a line like cattle so he can pick & choose which one(s) he wants to take home and sleep with until the neighbors know his name?? It’s one song after the other that degrade our women & demonize our men. What can we do?? We can call radio stations & object to them playing these songs. We can bus people into NYC and have mass protests of large music corporations. We can stop buying their albums. We can boycott their concerts. Nelly tried to victimize himself when the women of Spelman boycotted his concert b/c he said the proceeds were going to his sister who had cancer. His sister eventually died, so the Spelman women were blamed. buuuut… how many women were victimized by his making of the Tip Drill video, in which women’s buttcheeks were likened to an ATM card swipe?? and how many other women are made victims of denigrating music? RIP to Nelly’s late sister. No disrespect, BUT we have to continue to take a stand and STOP allowing women who DO stand up for their right to be respected by our own musical culture to be quelled back into submission!
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I complete understand your point of view…yet I’m not going to front…
want to get me crunk on the dance floor play tip drill…however…
That song does not define me, nor the way I allow a man to treat me…because I had that foundation. I don’t know if young women now know how to differentiate the music from what they should expect in a relationship…
I believe that a woman does not demand yet command respect.
and our men need to take more pride in themselves, and not be satisfied with being depicted as the oversexed dumb brute.
But when do we stop blaming the music and take responsibility for not doing better as a community holistically? Since it is our music, is it not reflective of “us?” Or at least that is what the mainstream media would have us believe.
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