when we were younger, things were so different. the people that we would accept into our lives then are very different than the people we would give access to now–at least i would hope so. for the bois, it means going beyond the gyrl with the short skirt and the tiiiiiiiiight top and looking for someone real and authentic (with a tight top-ha!). on the other hand, gyrls who once settled for ballers, thugs, and the cute guy you passed in the hallway in 6th period, have replaced them with a list of attributes that we have created based on our experiences with the bois we have been with and the men that we never should have.
something about that thing–criteria.
criteria is used to qualify things and people that will have the privilege of being included in whatever group is searching to fill an opening. that was almost too many words to say that criteria is what separates the p’s from the vip’s.
however, in relationships, have we gone too far? are we searching for people who do not even exist? or, is this a self-sabotaging strategy to protect us from the hurts of the future?
i’m just asking…
the truth is that as we mature, it becomes more difficult to find people that will accept us for who we are. if you are educated, try finding an educated partner that is still fun and willing to do undignified things, like fall on roller skates and laugh at old episodes of “in living color” or some other random show you like. now, that is not to say that he/she does not exist, but its harder to find this proverbial “needle” in a haystack of hoochies/hoochers. additionally, being educated with a career could be a sentence for solitary confinement.
but i digress…ah, yes…back to criteria.
everyone has criteria–what they want, what they don’t want, what is absolutely unacceptable…and so on and so forth, but does this christmas list of traits that our next significant other should (or must) bring to the table, ever work out?
does someone ever meet the criteria. or, are we dooming ourselves to forever search for men/womyn that do not walk among us. are we hoping to find some superhuman member of the opposite sex that will have all the personality, ambition, and sensuality that we could ever hope for? even scarier than the fact that this person may/may not exist, is the reality that perhaps we have met the closest match humanly possible and failed to notice because they failed to meet some other criteria on our little list?
i am as guilty as anyone reading this, so i am saying the following to all of us: maybe its time to ditch the list, and open our minds (and hearts) to the possibilities that are right in front of us…and realize that life just might bring us everything we never knew we always wanted.
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