Do your friends (past and/or present) not get along with your significant other (past or present)?

Think about the reasons why they do not get along… then ask yourself…

Am I partially (or wholly) to blame?

I recently shared something with a close friend, and her reaction made me rethink my actions. Now, he is more so a less significant other, yet I was a bit taken aback by her reaction, causing me to think there could potentially be a strain on our friendship if he were to become a significant part of my life. Now, you can go around citing all of this, ’She-Ra Princess of Power’, I am not putting a man before my girls bologna if you choose… the fact of the matter is, sometimes friendships are sacrificed for “love.”

My friend’s revelation did initially upset me, and I immediately asked myself the following:

If I did decide to make him a part of my life, would I have to then choose between friend and boi? And are her feelings of dislike towards him solely based upon things I have told her?

I later asked her if her opinion was in general or in regards to me. My friend then let me know that she was upset with the way he handled matters with me. She has already made up her mind that he suqs, so is it now my job to sway her in the opposite direction… could I now change her mind if I tried?

I realize the importance of keeping some things to yourself. Yes, I was upset at the time, and she is my friend… should I not turn to her? However, if I always go to my friend with the issues, how can I expect her to like him? If I only share the bad, how can I expect her to react favorably?

I have been on the opposite foot… strongly disliking the man that a friend chose to be with. Much of my dislike was not just due to my perception of the way he treated her, but my lack of respect for him as as a person; and our friendship suffered because of it.

There is a fine line here, and at the end of the day what matters is what is going on between you and your significant other; that cannot be good if you have let others into the middle of your situation.

A friend from twitter made this comment:

I’m always preaching “we teach others how to treat us.” if women disrespect their men to their friends, they’ll think it’s ok! NO! Not only do your friends NOT need to know all the “goodie” things in your relationship, they don’t need to know EVERY fight, either.

I have to say that I agree, some things… most things (outside of abuse), should be kept behind closed doors. It is not about being secretive, but more so realizing the value in having a special bond… an understanding that only the two of you share… especially if you do no want others to form an opinion about your relationship. When you bring your friends into your relationship, it is almost as if you are giving them a license to negatively interfere, disrespecting the person you are choosing to share your life with.

She also said, “Maybe your man is a loser, and everyone realizes it but you.”

Maybe…yet,  do we have a right to interfere?

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