| the line just got thinner…


boissuq replay | To my fellow “independent” ladies…

A friend of mine is always saying that it’s important that we “embrace our singleness” and I can completely relate to her point of view.  Find purpose in your life, that way you will be ready to contribute to a partnership.  I always say that I need/want a that compliments me, not complete me.  I know who I am, I have proven that I can stand strong, and over the years I have proven I am much stronger than I ever expected.  I had two parents in my home, yet I watched my mother hold things down when my dad was going through.  I watched the strength of my grandmother…my aunts.  I have had such good examples that I could not help but to realize the strength within myself.    It is very much an exhibition  of courage for a woman to be able to hold down things on her own.  As women, sometimes knowing and proving we can stand alone…and tall for that matter, is the problem.  Gone is the notion of “I can do bad my myself”,  and we have developed the belief of “I’m doing fine all by myself”, making it harder to allow “him” into our life.  We strong single women like to be in control (its our way of life),  and in order to let him in we must turn over some of our control…control of our heart that is.

As a single woman, age 35  who has been on my own since 18, I take issue with the notion of submitting to my future husband, and at times fear the idea of marriage.  My pastor’s wife help me but the definition of “submission” into perspective…

Well, that’s probably because we have a deceptive view of what submission really is. We are told that submission is basically being controlled; we aren’t supposed to have our own thoughts, opinions, suggestions, ideas, etc but that is not the truth…. Submission is being able to resist your need for control for the betterment of the whole; it’s being able to say this is how I feel but I respect your God-given role as the head and leader of this house and I will stand by you; it’s being humble…

I have been told by so many that being independent and then getting married is hard to do and I can only imagine but in order to for God to richly bless our relationships we must learn to our roles and walk in them… yes this is very difficult and the only way you will ever accomplish it is to be certain the man you are submitting to is the man God created for you…

I once had someone tell me that I am independent due to my circumstances, but he felt I would be willing to hand over the reigns for the right man… and he was absolutely correct.  My problem, or my fear stems less from relinquishing control (or being controlled) as it does to the fact that I have previously given myself (emotionally, physically, and spiritually) to the wrong men, therefore,  I do not trust my judgment to make the right choice.  Here is where discernment comes in… I need to be on one accord with God, so I know when the man is the man God has created for me.

© 2013, kelic. All rights reserved. This work is the property of the author as named above, and No part of this work may be reproduced or redistributed, without the express, written consent of the owners as aforementioned.

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Keli Said:

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“I always say that I am looking for a man to compliment, not complete me”…actually I’m not looking, but this is what I would expect of the man that finds me. :)

That he will compliment my strength, and me his.


Millie Said:

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In thought…It’s not just submission for the woman, but the man must submit to God’s will and not his own -to lead his family and take on his role as the head, the leader. Trust is one if the largest obstacles that will often confront us and push us back into survival mode and take the reigns again.


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